many things happen from happy times to miserable moments like now. I want to share those happy moments with people that is reading my blog, but right now those memories whenever i think about it my heart hurts.

why must such things happen in my life. do i not deserve to have happiness that last forever ? or my right one is not you ? I trust you and yet somehow my trusted was betrayed, i let you have fun with your friends cause i do not want to be so clingy, im trying my best to be everything you need. In the end such things happen.

nowadays, sometimes you just make me so angry but i just could'nt bring myself to start flaming. we are all in pain, why ? because you cannot make up your mind. why can't you make up your mind ? because you do not want to lose anyone. You say you want to be the only one suffering, but hey look around i am suffering hell. Im trying my best to solve everything here, but this is'nt how it should be done. This is our relationship and this is our problem, but why am i the only one trying ? Im trying too hard, everytime i do something it's killing my dignity and pride. but in the end whatever i did not only it does not solve the problem, i made myself feel so bad and so small. After i did so much and tried so much, nothing was done, why ? Because you are not supporting me, tell me if im wrong here. Good job now i feel worst than a fucking retard at least a fucking retard doesnt feel shit.

I am crying, my heart is bleeding, my soul is crumbling and im going crazy just by thinking of you. what you do is only telling me not to. I don't want to see things like " i dont want you to suffer" "dont cry ):" cause i am already suffering and i am crying. I know somethings cannot be forced but i really wish to see those 8 letters 3 words which comes from your bottom of your heart. You can do so many things to end everyone's suffering yet you choose to do nothing.

Despite losing everything now, my mind , my heart and my soul i will continue to go on. Im close to the end of this dark tunnel, but all i can see is small fragment of light. Even its just a small drop of hope, i will cling on to it. Till the last bit of light is shollowed by the darkness. I will not give up. My feelings for you will be my sword, my faith in you will be my shield and my trust in you will be my armour.